Every day of our lives, we make a decision. Whether that be what time to wake up, when to put the bins out or whether to watch the telly after a long day.
But what would you do if you woke up in the morning to be told by your child that they feel unwell and don’t want to go to school? Those of you who are parents may have already been in a situation like this before and it’s not the best thing to wake up to, is it?
If this were to happen would you, what decision would you make?
a. Let them stay in bed.
b. Ask a few questions to determine the root of their illness.
c. I don’t know.
You see, this is the exact dilemma I was in only recently. The first thought that comes to my mind is that he seemed fine last night before he went to bed. Perhaps his illness had set in overnight? Well, after a few questions, I managed to identify the problem of his ‘illness’. It was a severe case of ‘he wasn’t sure if he had completed his homework correctly-itus’.
So I had to make a decision. Do I let him stay off school or send him in and let him tell the teacher he hasn’t done his homework? I made the choice to send him in because he needed to accept responsibility for not doing his homework. Then he can learn a valuable lesson of not leaving his homework to the last minute in future.
It actually turned out he was almost finished so he decided to frantically complete it on the car journey to school. So with it complete he went into his lesson safe in the knowledge that it is better to do his homework the moment to gets in from school than delay until later.
Most of us will go through dilemmas in life where you need to be assertive. Sometimes if you choose instead to be sympathetic and not actually get to the root of the issue, you may cause the law of unintended consequences and encourage your child/ren to make excuses for their failure. Are you guilty of this?
Often the best way to help somebody is to be what some may say, “cruel to be kind”.
Had I let my son stay off school, he wouldn’t have learned that he needs to do his homework immediately when he gets home. This lesson has now taught him to use a routine for homework.
So in future when you think you’re being kind to someone, just think about this. Are you being a help or a hindrance to the way their life will turn out?
If you wish to learn how to be more decisive, create better strategies and be confident with your decisions; get in touch now so we can decide how I can help you.